It IS a small world, and I am finding you can throw a rock
in any direction and hit a cancer survivor, or someone whose life has been
touched by it. A department head here at
ND asked for a meeting with me ( new federal regulations deal with
a part of my job that interfaces with his department). He pushed for an 8am meeting, and I had to
push for later (because of driving Kevin to his a.m. appointments); finally,
so as not to appear as either a slacker or simply uncooperative, I said that on
Friday mornings at 8am, I was dropping my husband off for radiation treatments,
so given driving distance and parking at Notre Dame, even 8:30 was a stretch,
and could we please push it to later. He
immediately offered up 9:30. He began
our meeting today asking questions about Kevin’s cancer and treatment, and
shared that his wife was 1 year out from her cancer treatment, is in
remission and doing well. She is the
mother of 3 children; the youngest 18 months when she was diagnosed. We talked a lot about what it was like for them, and he was so kind in asking me how it was going for me. WOW. MUCH easier, I am certain, for me than for ANYONE who has children; particularly small children.
I was 23 when my mother died of breast cancer, which recurred in her liver. We had about a year from the time of that diagnosis until her death. As her younger daughter, it was ALLLLLLL about ME, and my pain, and my losing my mother (she and my sister and I were extremely close); but now, as my friends’ children (particularly daughters) who have reached that age, I watch my friends, and I see my mother… with a NEW appreciation for what she faced; leaving her daughters, (me in particular. My sister was settled, married, children, and happy in her life; I was in flux in so many areas (also known as, "a hot mess!") and emotionally utterly dependent upon her.) God granted her His amazing Grace, and, possibly some “insider information,” that against all apparent odds, I would be fine, and in fact, would flourish. I hope so. I can't imagine anything worse than leaving a child in those circumstances through no fault of your own.
Today, I see much Grace, and many blessings in our situation. Kevin has had 1 chemo
treatment, and 2 radiation treatments; so far, no side effects, and he feels confident about these 6 weeks of treatment. His chemo agent is Cisplatin, mid-range
between horrible nasty-bad side effects, and no side effects at all. His dosage is in the lower mid-range, so
there is certainly reason to believe he may not be horribly impacted by
this.
He recently saw the ENT who did his initial
surgery that sent him to the U of M, who was very impressed at his level of
healing, indicating Kevin has a strong immune system.
We are surrounded by wonderful friends and neighbors who are
so supportive and kind, and willing to give their time and energy to
making our lives easier. Even our cats are stepping up; Camilla, our older
kitty, sticks close to Kevin, and our “baby kitten,“ Priscilla,
(feral cat who believes that, other than me, everyone is a dangerous stranger,
including Kevin) is starting to stay close by him as well, chirping and gerbiling to him, and even
allowing him to pet her. (Kitty Healing
Magic.)
We have a nutritionist with great advice
on the care and feeding of Kevin during radiation, when his taste buds may crash, and he may
lose his appetite completely, and in any case, probably won’t want to eat. Thanks to family members and friends, I have
received a good range of recipes; most of which I've been test-driving on
Kevin to make sure he likes them; all have been given the thumbs up. I’m doing a lot of cooking ahead now so I can
make sure he is well supplied with mini-meals and snacks that are high protein, high
fat and high calories. Seems so
counter-intuitive to my normal cooking, but I have it on GREAT authority that
this is what will get him through! (And will be a damned shame if he DOES lose his appetite, because believe me, he will never pass THIS way again!!!)
It truly is a rather amazing adventure. It's not one I ever envisioned, or one I particularly wanted, but one which is daily infused with Grace and Blessing when I remember to ask -- and look for it.
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